There are things that demand to be set apart. Places that refuse to be ignored.
They force you to acknowledge their existence and bow to their force. It could be anything. From a unique culture, warm people, archeological wealth or even a rare experience. This is not the case for Kondele. Yes, it is hard to talk about Kisumu and not touch on the base that is Kondele. But make no mistake, it is not because oh they are warm, or they have all the museums of Kisumu in their locality, no. It is because of the lyrical wit of the Kondele populace.
Kondele people are your quintessential eye witnesses.
Those who never witnessed anything in the first place. Here when anything happens at whatever corner, everybody knows about it. Even those who were at Kibuye, covered under the chaos and frenzy of the market when an explosive went off in Migosi. In fact, these are the witnesses with the facts. How it was so riotous after it went off with people running for dear life. Never mind that in reality, some kids were just having fun with baruti. Eish 🙂
So comical is the character of Kondele people that Hollywood took notice. Ok, this might be a slight embellishment of the fact but listen up.
During on episode of the highly acclaimed TV series Key and Peele, there is a lucid depiction of the true Kondele spirit. A reporter rolls into a black neighborhood and in his imagination creates a fictional animal called a Pegasus. He could have chosen any name but this reporter went for a Pegasus. I mean such things make you think a lot about the character of a man. Like did he not see enough pets growing up? Just how exactly was he socialized regarding animals? For him to choose a Pegasus is pretty suspect if you ask me. But I digress.
So, this reporter guy asks the people about the Pegasus and they unanimously swear that they know the animal. Every single person he stops on the streets says they know the animal.
When he decides to switch things up and get a bit into detail, nobody wants to talk about a strangely named animal anymore. Mind you, before he inquired more about the animal, they had events involving the said to go on and on about. Some even claimed it once flew and sat on the roof. They described it as a second grade unicorn with huge wings. If I was the reporter I would have stopped right there. There is something absolutely wrong about a grown man who puts huge wings on a unicorn. Needless to say, there was never an animal like that in that hood. This ladies and gentlemen is the embodiment of the whimsical nature of Kondele population. I am not generalizing here but tell me a Kondele scandal or scene or event that hasn’t been blown out of proportion. There you go.
Take for instance these weird tales of people keeping snakes in their home as pets or whatever reason. They somehow find their genesis in Kondele. They will tell you that they have witnessed the snakes in person and describe the animal in excruciating detail. Then when things get thick and facts outweigh the jest in exaggeration, they will look at anyone asking questions accusatorily.
Like why do you need facts?, so to speak!
They will give you a whole chain of people who told them the story. That they had witnessed it and in some instances been a part of it becomes useless. They will just submit to you that hata mimi niliambiwa tu na Atis,or Odhis or Achienge hehehe.
If you are looking for comical witicism, this is where you come to.
If you are looking for a good laugh, Kondele is the base. Should you be in need of a good fictional reality, look no further. But if you are looking for the truth, facts to a narrative, honest opinions or just a clear picture of events, steer clear of Kondele.
After all, what is a good story if you do not own it anyway?
See this video below for some Kondele laugh episodes: